Let's be clear: Sorry's new song "Tom Will Smack Your Ass" is not about me. At least, I'm pretty sure it's not. I have never knowingly met any of the members of Sorry, and I certainly have not smacked their asses. Listen: I can't speak for any Toms, but I can say that I will not smack your ass without your enthusiastic consent. Even with your enthusiastic consent, I probably won't do it. It likely wouldn't occur to me. I don't mean any offense when I say that. I'm sure your ass is very nice. It's just not a way that I interact with most people.
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