Why Gen Z is getting better at saying “I can’t afford it” 

There was a time when telling your friends, “Sorry, I can’t afford it,” felt more uncomfortable than quietly putting a night out on your credit card.

A pricey birthday dinner? You went. A destination wedding that required a flight, hotel, and three new outfits? You just figured it out. A group trip you hadn’t budgeted for? Saying no meant admitting that money was the reason, and for many people, that’s enough to make them say yes anyway. 

Gen Z is starting to change that. From talking openly about the cost of experiences to opting out when something isn’t in the budget, younger Canadians seem to be more and more willing to set financial boundaries—and even saying them out loud.

“I’d say in general, Gen Z is more vocal about boundaries, whether it’s their finances or in their career or their personal life, than probably any other generation,” says Jessica Moorhouse, an accredited financial counsellor and author of Everything but Money.

Why is Gen Z more comfortable saying no?

Part of the shift may simply be that this generation came of age with a louder voice. Social media gave young people a public platform much earlier than previous generations had, Moorhouse says, and allowed them to compare experiences and question some of the norms they inherited.

They’ve also had plenty to question. Gen Z entered adulthood during COVID-19, soaring housing and living costs, and a difficult job market. Moorhouse believes watching older generations deal with everything from overwork and stagnant wages to financial mistakes may have encouraged some young people to ask why they should continue doing things the same way as the generations that came before them.

That doesn’t necessarily mean Gen Z has eliminated the shame surrounding money, though.

Social media can give the impression that everyone is suddenly sharing their salary, budget, debt, and bank balance with the world. In reality, Moorhouse says many of the young people she speaks with still struggle with financial shame and don’t want their friends knowing how much they earn or whether they’re carrying debt. And the financial influencers talking openly online represent only a small slice of the generation (and are often angling for paid sponsorships as a reward for sharing their financial hero journey online).

Still, being willing to tell your friends that something isn’t in the budget, or doesn’t align with your financial priorities, is a valuable habit to develop early.

Saying no is a financial skill

There will always be something competing for your money. In your 20s, it might be dinners, concerts, weddings and group trips. Later, the stakes and dollar amounts may change, but the basic decision doesn’t: Is this worth delaying one of my other financial goals?

Moorhouse calls the ability to make that call a lifelong skill.

“There’s always going to be financial dilemmas,” she says. A last-minute trip, for example, might be technically possible, but if taking it adds another six months to paying off your debt, you have to decide whether the trade-off is worth it.

The good news? Saying no gets easier.

Moorhouse compares setting financial boundaries to a muscle: the more you use it, the more confident you can become in knowing what you want and whether a particular expense fits into the plan. That matters because saying no to friends and family can be especially difficult when we’re used to assuming everyone in our social circle is doing roughly as well financially as we are. Sometimes opting out can feel like revealing something about your finances, even if you’re just prioritizing them.

And that distinction is important. Being able to afford something and deciding it’s worth spending your money on are two different things.

You also need to know when to say yes

There is a flip side to getting really good at financial boundaries: you can get too good at saying no.

Moorhouse experienced some of this herself. When she was starting out, much of the financial advice she encountered focused on frugality, avoiding debt and spending less. Anyone remember a little Canadian reality TV show called ’Til Debt Do Us Part?

For Moorhouse, those lessons helped her establish a strong financial foundation, but eventually, she had to learn that spending wasn’t inherently bad. She sees the same thing with some clients today. They may be saving, investing, maintaining an emergency fund, and living without debt, yet still struggle to spend money comfortably.

“You need to be able to enjoy your money,” Moorhouse says. “It’s good to say no, but you also need to learn how to say yes.”

In other words, financial boundaries shouldn’t become financial fear. The goal isn’t to reject every dinner invitation or never take the trip. It’s to create enough stability that, over time, you can say yes more often without sacrificing the things that matter to you.

Maybe Gen Z is onto something

And perhaps there’s a lesson here that goes beyond money. 

Moorhouse sees Gen Z’s willingness to put their own needs into the equation as an expression of self-care and something older generations could stand to learn from.

She remembers watching her grandmother prepare dinner for everyone else, making sure they had their plates and were comfortable before finally serving herself. That kind of selflessness was once held up as something to aspire to. Moorhouse sees it differently now: “We need to be grabbing a plate at the same time as everybody else,” she says.

Putting yourself first sometimes isn’t the same as caring only about yourself. The latter, Moorhouse points out, is the true definition of selfishness.

And when it comes to your finances, nobody else at the dinner, on the trip, or at the wedding has to live with the consequences of your spending decisions. You do.

So if Gen Z is making it a little less awkward to say I’d love to, but it’s not in my budget right now, that’s definitely a shift worth keeping. Because the goal isn’t to become really good at saying, “no.” It’s to build a financial life that lets you know when you can confidently say, “yes.”

Read more from Moneyflex:

Gen Z’s analog obsession isn’t really about nostalgia What Canadian women regret most about money—and how Gen Z can avoid it The experience gap: Why Gen Z’s career launch needs a reboot Why Gen Z Is choosing career vibes over big paycheques, especially early on

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