We were about to have sex – but he couldn’t stop crying

I felt bad, but I couldn’t console a man I didn’t know just because his ex-girlfriend was sleeping with someone – something he had come over to mine to do (Picture: Getty Images)

‘Just tie me up’, I said, sighing.

Ken* wiped tears from his face, sniffled and nodded meekly.

I watched him take the red ropes from my hands, still crying, and begin to move towards the headboard, before I stopped him.

‘This is ridiculous, we can’t have sex with you weeping like this! You’ve got to get over your ex!’

Exasperated, I got off the bed.

Unluckily for me, this made him cry harder. 

As I rolled my eyes and tried to console him by placing his weeping head on my breasts, I thought about our first night together and how very different it had been.

I met Ken on Tinder back in 2019. His profile didn’t say much other than his height – 6’2” – but all that mattered to me was that he was handsome and available to come round that evening for a night of passion.

Our exchange was minimal – I immediately asked if he wanted to have sex and he responded with an eagerness that made me feel desired. We arranged for him to come to my flat at 8pm.

When my doorbell rang, I rushed to let him in, excited to meet this mysterious man and have a guaranteed sensual night.

He was as handsome as his photos, but he carried a melancholy that followed him like a dark cloud. Sitting on my sofa, having a glass of wine, he seemed withdrawn – then he blurted out that he had just broken up with his ex.

‘Oh dear’, I replied, uncertainly. Not knowing what else to do, I immediately changed the subject.

After a few glasses of wine, he loosened up a bit and smiled a lot more. He had a gorgeous smile, and I was happy to see it.

We made out on the sofa and his strong arms lifted me on top of him. I knew we were going to have sofa sex, and I was excited. Not being able to wait before ripping each other’s clothes off is incredibly hot.

The sex was great – by the end, we were on the floor, giggling.

I told him he could stay over, since I had another bottle of wine for us to polish off.

We made it through that bottle before retiring to the bedroom to have more sex.

The next morning I woke up and he had gone, leaving a note on my desk: ‘Last night was great, see you again soon?’

I had a craving I was hoping he would be able to fulfil

I thought it was cute – and I had a rotation of a couple of men I was sleeping with, so was excited to add him to the roster.

We soon arranged another date at mine for a week’s time.

I didn’t hear much from him for around five days, but he eventually sent a message on the day, saying: ‘I’ll be there at 9pm’.

His radio silence had felt weird, but that weirdness disappeared as soon as he messaged – I was just happy he was coming over for round two. I had a craving I was hoping he would be able to fulfil: I really wanted to see if he would tie me up that night.

I was just happy he was coming over for round two (Picture: Getty Images)

But when I opened the door, everything changed.

He was slightly drunk already and his eyes were bloodshot, as if he had been crying.

‘Oh’, I managed to squeak at him, as he stumbled inside.

‘I had some of the wine already’, he said, lifting the half bottle of red in his hand.

‘Okay…’, I replied, immediately regretting inviting him round. My voice must have given my feelings away, because he started crying and apologising.

‘God I’m so sorry, I don’t know what to do. I can’t believe she’s already seeing someone’, he managed through the sobs.

I realised he was talking about his ex.

‘Okay, but aren’t you sleeping with me?’ I half mumbled, still hoping he heard me.

The double standards of men never ceases to surprise me. According to him, she shouldn’t see anyone, but he was allowed to sleep around.

‘Do you want to go home?’, I asked, crossing my arms.

‘No, let’s do this. I want to’, he insisted, standing up and moving towards the bedroom, grabbing me on the way.

He started kissing me with his wet cheeks pressed against mine, snotty nose rubbing against me. I was not turned on at all.

‘Just go. There’s no point in you being here’, I said, firmly

That’s when I asked him to tie me up – maybe something exciting and fun like this would turn it around and he could momentarily forget that his ex had moved on.

But it wasn’t happening.

‘Get out’, I said, lifting his head from my chest with my hands.

‘What…?’ he answered, looking helpless.

I felt bad, but I couldn’t console a man I didn’t know just because his ex-girlfriend was sleeping with someone – something he had come over to mine to do.

‘Just go. There’s no point in you being here’, I said, firmly.

I could hear him sniffling and gathering his jacket behind me as I went to unlock my door, and by the time I turned around, he had gone.

I didn’t hear from him again. I’m sure a woman telling him to ‘get over his ex’ and ‘get out’ wasn’t what he expected that night – but then, I’m not sure what he had expected.

I’m just glad I had a roster of men – because an hour later Panos* came round and tied those ropes against my wrists, just how I liked it.

*Names have been changed

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