Trump Lures Gay Ayatollah Out Of Hiding With Cardboard Cutout Of David Hasselhoff

TEHRAN — At President Donald Trump's direction, the U.S. military successfully took out Iran's new gay supreme leader by luring him out of his bunker with a cardboard cutout of Baywatch star David Hasselhoff. As part of Operation Hot Hoff, SEAL Team Six reportedly trained night and day for weeks ahead of a planned ground incursion in which they strategically set up a cardboard cutout of David Hasselhoff designed to look lost and in need of male companionship. It was only a matter of time before Ayatollah Mojtaba Khamenei, who sources indicated was gay, fell for the devious trap and...