The Lord Strengthens Elon One Last Time To Push Pillars Of Congress Over And Bring Government Crashing Down

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a merciful miracle, the Spirit of the Lord strengthened Elon one last time to push the pillars of Congress over, bringing the government crashing down. According to sources at the Capitol, the miracle occurred just in time to stop Congress's "big, beautiful" spending bill from being passed, while also causing the entire Capitol Building to violently collapse. Experts say the bill now has little chance of passage, as it is buried in rubble along with several hundred politicians. "Elon called to the Lord," said one witness. "He said, 'O Lord God, please remember me and...