Texting ‘Sorry just seen this’ is actually rude, according to etiquette experts

Sorry just seen this (Picture: Getty Images)

We’ve all done it. You open a message, get distracted by a cup of tea, a Reel, or pure life chaos, and suddenly three days have passed.

Your go-to rescue text? ‘Sorry, just seen this!’

It’s the ultimate polite white lie of the digital age — a quick way to save face without admitting you simply forgot to reply.

But according to etiquette experts, the phrase might actually be doing more harm than good.

In a recent episode of etiquette guru William Hanson and DJ Jordon North’s podcast, Help I Sexted My Boss, William said the phrase is his pet peeve.

‘I get it, life is busy, we can’t respond to every message when it comes in,’ he acknowledges. ‘It’s like an overpoliteness correction.

‘You don’t need to pretend you’ve only just seen it. I think that makes it worse.’

Instead, he says just respond to the message or say ‘sorry for the delay in replying.’

But ‘don’t pretend you haven’t seen the message,’ William says. That’s a big etiquette faux pas in his eyes.

What do people think?

On Instagram, people were divided on whether the phrase should be banned or is perfectly fine to use.

@discomartinez wrote: ‘Absolutely, William! I usually admit that I read the message, then got distracted by something. Honesty is the best policy.’

While @supersarn added: ‘Completely agree with William on this.’

@Georgeiancooper agreed, saying it’s basically another way of saying ‘Sorry, I saw this but ignored it.’

But not everyone was on William’s side. @kimarablefarmer wrote: ‘From someone with a fairly chaotic ADHD brain, I genuinely don’t see messages as I’m distracted so easily by anything else. I also feel genuinely bad that I’ve let the other person feel ignored, so I would always apologise.’

Do you use the phrase? (Picture: Getty Images)

On TikTok, @yascaoimhin said it was a ‘perfectly fine’ phrase, while @georgepressey723 joked that William’s argument ‘feels like a personal attack.’

Plus, @elijah_trenchard said: ‘If you haven’t replied to me for days or even a week, I would expect an explanation. Just a reply comes across as arrogant and uncaring.’

What do the experts say?

While the experts agree that honesty is best, they were less bothered than William.

‘People tend to say “just seen this” as a figure of speech, and it can mean “I have just seen this” or “I saw this and forgot about it” or “I saw it and was waiting to see if I was free”, Rupert Wesson, of Debrett’s Etiquette Training, explains to Metro.

He argues that while you shouldn’t take it personally, ‘truth is usually the best policy’.

Instead of saying ‘Sorry, just seen this,’ Rupert recommends saying ‘I am so sorry to be getting back to you so slowly.’

If you want to be polite, try being honest instead (Picture: Shutterstock / PerfectWave)

This is a sentiment ‘Queen of Etiquette’ Laura Windsor agrees with.

‘If you’ve seen the message and simply haven’t had time to reply because you’ve been busy, the best thing to do is to be honest,’ she tells Metro.

‘A simple, “I’m terribly sorry for my late reply!” followed by a proper reply is all that’s needed. And perhaps finish it with “Apologies again!”‘

Laura acknowledges that ‘honesty and a little courtesy go a long way,’ but emphasises that it’s not as drastic as William makes it out to be.

‘Some people may perceive it as rude because they are easily offended, but you have to look at the bigger picture,’ she says.

‘If it’s a repeated pattern, then yes, it can come across as rude or dismissive. But if it’s a one-off, and the person normally responds to your messages promptly, there’s really no reason to take offence.’

Etiquette is tricky, but Metro is here to clear up the confusion.

We have the answers to the acceptable time to kick people out of your house and how long customers should sit with one drink for.

Plus, if you’re running late, find out how long you have before you’re officially being rude.

Is it polite to move seats on the tube if there’s a free spot? Or is it rude to the passenger sitting next to you?

And don’t be a landlords’ worst nightmare – find out the common pub habit to avoid.

Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@metro.co.uk

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