SCOTUS Rules Invading Xenomorphs Who Hatch On Earth Are Officially Citizens Of Earth

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In yet another surprising decision that divided public opinion, the United States Supreme Court ruled that invading Xenomorphs who hatch on Earth are officially citizens of Earth. In the controversial 6-3 ruling, Chief Justice John Roberts and associate justices Amy Coney Barrett and Brett Kavanaugh sided with the court's liberal judges to confirm that Xenomorphs that hatch from their ovamorph pods on this planet are entitled to full rights and privileges of Earth's native citizens. "They have every right to attach themselves to your faces," Roberts wrote strongly in the majority opinion. "To deny the Xenomorphs these...