It’s easy to cheat as a lorry driver but now my mistress is pregnant — can I ghost her?

How is this week’s reader going to get his life back on track? (Picture: Metro/Getty)

Sometimes, people cheat purely because the opportunity presents itself.

And that’s how this week’s reader has justified his actions.

As a lorry driver, he’s away from home a lot — and one thing has lead to many others.

Now, he’s married with a pregnant mistress, and is considering a disappearing act — leaving his problems firmly in the rear view mirror.

Keep reading to find out more, but before you go, check out last week’s dilemma, from a woman who is realising her coffee shop dates with another man may not be as innocent as she thinks.

The problem…

Please don’t tell me off like a child, because that’s not what I’m looking for. What I need is advice about how to deal with the difficult situation I’m in. 

Basically, I’m married with a young son and my girlfriend is pregnant. I had hoped she’d have a termination but so far, she says she doesn’t want that, and my head is all over the place trying to deal with everything. 

I’m in my early thirties and work as a lorry driver, which takes me all around the country. I often spend nights away and that’s how I got involved with this woman, who works for a company I regularly deliver to. 

About a year ago my wife found some sexy messages on my phone, so she confronted me about the affair and unsurprisingly, kicked me out. Eventually she took me back when I promised the affair was over, but this girl wouldn’t leave me alone and I ended up back in her bed. 

I read one of your columns a while ago, when a guy promised he’d marry his girlfriend — but then he just blocked her, and disappeared.

I’ve seriously thought about doing this to my mistress and vanishing without a trace, but it wouldn’t be so easy as I make regular trips to her workplace. 

I still have feelings for my wife, and I love being a dad to our son, but right now I feel like I’ve messed everything up and am no use to anyone, including myself. 

The advice

You start your email by asking me not to tell you off like a child. Well, if the hat fits… 

Honestly, I’m struggling to feel any sympathy for your plight, which is of your own making, and instead I feel for both the women involved. 

Let’s start with the pregnant girlfriend. The fact that you’ve even thought about asking her to have an abortion and then disappearing, is frankly appalling.  

At the very least, why didn’t you use protection when having sex with her? Everyone knows that sex can make babies, it’s not rocket science. 

If your girlfriend has a termination, let it be because she’s decided it’s in her own best interests, regardless of yours. 

Let’s be realistic. If she keeps the baby and it’s definitely yours, then you will have to help support it financially. You need to explain to her that you have no intention of being her long-term partner, and she needs to be prepared for life as a single parent.

Meanwhile, you say you still have feelings for your wife, although your behaviour says otherwise. And what about your child, who surely deserves a much better father? 

It’s time you started taking responsibility for your actions, so please be honest with your partner about your pregnant girlfriend.

Don’t be surprised if she ends any hopes for the future then and there; after all, she’s already tried giving you a second chance, and look where it’s got her. 

If either of those women emailed me, I’d be advising them to kick you into the long grass. 

I’m afraid it’s what you deserve. 

Laura is a counsellor and columnist.

Got a sex and dating dilemma? To get expert advice, send your problem to Laura.Collins@metro.co.uk.

Do you have a story to share?

Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk

Comments Add as preferred source