I’ve found a way to get free ferries to France – and I can’t believe my luck | Zoe Williams

While taking the boat to Dunkirk, I stumbled upon a remarkable deal. I’ve barely been on dry land since

In February, my sister and I took the ferry from Dover to Dunkirk. On the way back, I noticed there was a deal: spend €150 (£130) in duty free and get a free day-trip ticket. If you love Toblerone and know anyone who smokes, you can spend that without even blinking – and so it came to pass that I was back on the ferry within a month.

This was when I started to perfect the art of the day trip, even though I didn’t yet realise this would be the beginning of a beautiful loop. You arrive and go to the coast, which looks like Saint-Tropez when the sun is out, because even though Dunkirk is not a famous holiday destination, it is still France. Then you go to Carrefour and spend ages saying: “How is this fizzy wine €4.68? I wonder if it’ll be nice. Only one way to find out – buy 24 bottles of it.” You get back on the boat to return to Britain, which is where things get weird, because the offer is still on. Well, I still love Toblerone and I still know someone who smokes.