Helping College Students Move from Surviving to Thriving

By Sharon Danzger -

Starting college is exciting, but it’s also one of the most stressful transitions a young adult will face. Many students leave home for the first time, step into new social circles, and tackle demanding academics, all while their brains and emotions are still developing.

Why It Matters

This adjustment is hard for most students, not just a few. Over 60% of U.S. college students meet the criteria for at least one mental health concern, and nearly three-quarters report periods of moderate to severe distress. Knowing that this is common helps parents respond with empathy rather than alarm.

What Does This Look Like in Action?

Casey had been counting down to college move-in day for months. The first week was full of excitement: meeting roommates, exploring campus, and going to welcome events. But by week three, the shine wore off. Classes felt harder than expected, sleep schedules slipped, and social media made it look like everyone else had found their people already. Casey started skipping the dining hall, eating snacks alone in the room, and staying up late to cram. Phone calls home turned into quick, surface-level updates: “I’m fine, just busy.”

Underneath, Casey was anxious, homesick, and wondering if they were cut out for this. One night, after a long silence on a call, Casey’s mom gently asked, ‘When do you feel most like yourself at school?’ That question cracked the door open. Casey admitted feeling lost. Together, they brainstormed one small step: trying out a campus club tied to a hobby Casey loved back home. That club turned into a lifeline for Casey. It brought friends, a routine, and a sense of belonging. Over time, Casey built healthier sleep habits and even found a study group. Things weren’t perfect, but the struggles became manageable.

Some Facts about Life in College

Mental health issues are common: About 36% of U.S. students have diagnosed anxiety and 28% depression.
Stress is widespread: In one national survey, 65% of students said they feel stressed ‘all the time’ or ‘often,’ and 57% report anxiety frequently.
Sleep is a weak spot: Around 43% of students sleep less than 7 hours, and 26% meet criteria for insomnia – predicting worse academic performance and mood.
Social connection protects: Students with even one meaningful connection through a friend, mentor, or club report lower rates of depression and greater persistence.
Mindset matters: Carol Dweck’s research shows students with a growth mindset bounce back faster from setbacks because they view challenges as opportunities to learn rather than as signs of failure.

What Parents (and Family Friends) Can Do

You can’t fix every stressor, but you can make a difference.

Ask better questions: Instead of “How’s school?” try:

“How’s your sleep?” “When did you feel most at ease this week?” This kind of question helps your student notice moments when they felt comfortable or confident, which can reveal what is working well and build awareness of strengths they can lean on during tougher times. “Who have you connected with recently?”

Normalize setbacks. Remind them that struggling with classes, homesickness, or making friends is part of adjusting, not a sign they don’t belong.

Encourage basics: Sleep, meals, and movement are protective factors that help build resilience.

Promote belonging: Suggest trying out one club, group, or mentoring program. Sometimes one connection makes all the difference.

Conclusion

College is a time of enormous change. It is normal for students to struggle as they find their footing. Parents can make a real difference by staying curious, listening with empathy, and offering gentle encouragement rather than quick fixes. Your calm confidence helps them see that growth takes time and that they already have the capacity to meet new challenges. With steady support and attention to the basics such as sleep, nourishment, connection, and perspective, students can gradually move from surviving the transition to discovering how to thrive in it.

References

This article is based on the capstone I wrote for my MAPP degree, which is accessible here if you want more information:

Danzger, S. (2018). From Surviving to Thriving: How Colleges Can Use the Science of Positive Psychology to Enhance Student Well-Being MAPP Capstone.

American College Health Association (2023). Diagnoses of anxiety and depression among U.S. students.

Ipsos Survey (2023). Ipsos College Student Mental Wellness Survey, 2023 – Stress, anxiety, overwhelm among U.S. students.

CDC (2023). Sleep and insomnia rates in U.S. college students.

Bermudez, V. N., Fearon-Drake, D., Wheelis, M. Cohenour, M., Suntai, Z. & Scullin, M. K. (2022). Sleep disparities in the first month of college: implications for academic achievement, Sleep Advances. Less than 7 hours strongly predicted poorer academic outcomes.

New Wiley Press Release (2024, March 11). Mental Health Issues on the Rise Among College Students Post-Pandemic.. Discusses student anxiety, burnout, and depression trends post-pandemic.

Dweck, C. (2008). Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. Ballantine Books.

Image credits:

All images created with assistance from ChatGPT (OpenAI). Free for use and redistribution with attribution.

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