He told me I had to be hairless – I told him I wasn’t a child

‘I hope they’re lasered, women should have nothing on them’, he quipped (Picture: Getty Images)

‘Not one pube’, Henry* said with the nonchalance of a man who was oblivious to the world around him.

But that amount of ignorance was not going to get this man laid.

It was 2020, I was sitting on my sofa, watching Married At First Sight with a man I had been on two dates with, but hadn’t yet slept with.

I had just asked him if he thought the contestants had laser hair surgery or had to remove hair throughout the show.

‘I hope they’re lasered, women should have nothing on them’, he quipped back.

‘Nothing?’ I was disgusted at the thought of being completely hairless, it always made me think of underdeveloped bodies, before puberty hits.

He went on to complain about hygiene, hair in his mouth, and disgust – language that raised all the red flags.

I was sitting on my sofa, watching Married At First Sight with a man I hadn’t yet slept with (Picture: Getty Images/Tetra images RF)

At that point I was glad I hadn’t slept with him.

Not because I was covered in hair, waiting to surprise him with an unmowed lawn. But because there was an inherent creepiness about his preoccupation with being hairless that I couldn’t shake.

Of course it’s not always creepy – there’s something called ‘cultural conditioning’, which means if everyone keeps saying ‘women should be hairless’, everyone will believe it as fact – but the perception of youth that a hairless body gives, should never be ignored.

I had met Henry on Hinge, and he appeared fairly normal on first impressions. He was covered in tattoos and seemed like a fairly relaxed guy – someone I could see myself having a few drinks with. I swiped and we instantly matched.

There was an inherent creepiness about his preoccupation with being hairless that I couldn’t shake (Picture: Getty Images)

Our conversation was a bit dull – he rarely asked me questions, it felt like he didn’t want to really get to know me, and simply answered anything I asked him – so I knew the spark wasn’t there.

But I got a vibe that maybe he’d be good in bed, so I asked him out on a date, suggesting we meet that afternoon. 

It was on a warm sunny day, so we met at 1pm in a large beer garden. He had told me before the date that he would only be able to come for a couple as it was his niece’s birthday and he was on uncle duty.

I was happy with that, since I was eager to potentially get to know him over a few hours, without having to commit too much more time than that. 

But I didn’t realise how quickly he would finish those ‘couple’ of drinks, because around 45 minutes later, he was standing up to leave. I had barely gotten to find out anything about his life or about him before he swiftly exited.

I got a vibe that maybe he’d be good in bed, so I asked him out on a date (Picture: Getty Images)

I assumed I wasn’t to his taste, so I left it and didn’t follow up. 

But that evening he texted me: ‘Lovely to see you today, let’s go on a proper date soon? Next Sunday?’

I gave him the benefit of the doubt and we organised to meet that Sunday, but not for a late one, since the next morning I had a 6am wake up for work.

So we met at the same beer garden for evening drinks, and as we got to know each other a bit, I realised how very different we were. He opened up the more he drank, and his views seemed polar opposites to mine.

We didn’t discuss politics or anything, but he would make comments like ‘my ex was crazy’ – which usually means ‘I drove my ex crazy’. 

He also pointed out a woman in the pub with shorts so small that you could see some of her butt cheeks, and said: ‘Does her man not respect her?’

It was on a warm sunny day, so we met at 1pm in a large beer garden (Picture: Getty Images)

I was offended but didn’t say anything to defend any of the women he demeaned. I think it’s because part of me wanted reassurance that if I wasn’t like them; if I was respectful, I would be worthy of his attention.

I’ve said this previously, but I’ve had to deal with a lot of self esteem issues in my life, and they have impacted me significantly in these kinds of moments.

However, I stood my ground when he attempted to come back to mine, his hands all over me, at the end of the night. I reaffirmed I wanted to go home alone because of my early start and he huffed away eventually.

I went home and to bed without thinking I would see him again. But I was wrong.

The next day, I woke up to a text from him.

‘I want to make up for last night, I feel like I didn’t show my best self’.

I opened my front door to him holding a bouquet of flowers and a big smile on his face (Picture: Getty Images)

I stared at the text, knowing my blue ticks would signify I read his message and that I should reply. A big part of me didn’t want to, but the people-pleaser in me did.

‘Come round mine tonight’, I said. I think part of me liked that he wanted me so much he kept trying to see me.

I made sure not to tell my friends about the red flag I was going on these dates with, and quietly went about my day until he arrived.

I opened my front door to him holding a bouquet of flowers and a big smile on his face.

I relaxed – maybe it would all be okay.

But it was then, when we were watching TV and talking about the MAFs contestants, that he made that comment about body hair.

‘Honestly, body hair is disgusting’, he continued.

‘So you like women to look like kids’, I said, my limit absolutely reached at that point, ‘because adults grow hair when they hit puberty’.

His face went bright red, and a vein started throbbing on his forehead. He looked like he was going to explode.

‘I’m not a child and I don’t want you here’, I finally said, hoping not to have to clean his exploded brains from my walls.

‘You’re probably a disgusting hippie with a massive mouldy bush’, he blurted out as he stomped away and disappeared out my front door

I was shocked, left on the sofa, my mouth wide open, half laughing and half shaking.

Thank god I didn’t sleep with him.

Me and my pubes are better off without men like him.

*Names have been changed.

Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing [email protected]. 

Share your views in the comments below.

Add as preferred source