'He killed my dad': Dark joke that helped Conan O'Brien cope with the grief of losing both parents within days

A dark, convoluted inside joke blaming Jason Bateman for the death of his parents just days apart is what helped Conan O'Brien the most when dealing with the loss, which occured this time last year.

Now, fellow comedian and friend Will Arnett is sharing the lore behind the joke that saw O'Brien typing out the words, "He killed my dad".

Sharing the story on O'Brien's podcast Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend, Arnett, 55, explained it all began when the TV icon, 62, would consistently "forget" to invite Bateman, 56, to his yearly Christmas party.

Watch the video above

Bateman would complain about the omission, even in public, until O'Brien finally relented and invited him last year. However, the Arrested Development star was caught out, having been invited to another Christmas party that same day.

Arnett laid a trap for him, getting Bateman to casually confess he may skip O'Brien's shindig. Only he didn't know the talk show host was hiding, waiting for this confession so he could "lay into him" about skipping after begging to be invited for so long.

Soon after the confrontation, O'Brien was faced with the death of his father, Thomas.

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Arnett recalled he heard the news and texted O'Brien, writing, "Hey, listen. I'm sorry to hear about your dad's passing, sending love from our family to yours."

O'Brien wrote back, "Thank you, Will. To be honest, I blame Bateman," implying the Ozark star killed his father as revenge for the Christmas party fiasco, using humour to diffuse the situation.

Arnett shared, "I wrote, 'It's not a terrible theory.' And Conan texted me back, 'He killed my dad.'"

Bateman was then let into the joke, with Arnett continuing, "Bateman texts you and says, 'Arnett tells me you're on to me.'

"Conan says, 'Bateman, do yourself a favour. Turn yourself in.'"

When O'Brien's mother Ruth unexpectedly died a few days after her husband, the trio continued the joke.

"[I texted,] 'Um, Bateman is asking for your sister's street address. Okay to give?'" Arnett shared.

"Like a day and a half later, [O'Brien] texted back, 'Just seeing this now. Fantastic … tell Bateman to make it look like a robbery.'"

O'Brien interjected, "I swear to God, this is how I grieve" before explaining a "big driving force" of his life was making his parents laugh. He had even considering quitting comedy after his parents died.

But in the midst of his grief, he felt a sense of connection just by joking with his friends.

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"It was so comforting for me to screw around with you guys at that moment," O'Brien said, "It just was. And if that makes me a madman, then so be it."

Arnett also recalled telling a mutual friend who was concerned by O'Brien's attitude to his loss, "Obviously our heart was with you and we love you and all that stuff," but, "this is what he wants right now. He wants to laugh and do bits."

Thomas O'Brien died on December 9, 2024 at age 95, while his wife Ruth O'Brien died three days later on December 12, 2024 at age 92.

Days after the double loss, the comedian shared a tribute to his parents.

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"My parents complemented each other very well," he told the Boston Globe.

O'Brien said his father was "the dreamer" of the two while his mum was "the realist".

"My dad was the one who was saying, 'I'm off to Peru with a change of clothes in my briefcase to try and launch this website for a hospital there high in the mountains'."

While his dad was away, his mum "was the one who really saw to it when we were little kids that we were fed and our clothes were laid out, and that we got to our dental appointments and medical appointments."

"I think what my mother and father saw in each other was that they were kindred spirits," he continued.

"They were incredibly hard-working and disciplined."

His parents are survived by their children Neal, Luke, Kate, Jane and Justin, as well as Conan. They are also survived by nine grandchildren, nieces and nephews.

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