Growing Gratitude: Practical Ways to Teach Kids and Teens to Give Thanks — and Why It Matters

Growing gratitude is more than saying “thank you”; it’s a habit of mind and heart that shapes how young people see themselves, others, and the world.

A growing body of research in positive psychology and developmental science links gratitude practice to better mental health, greater resilience, improved relationships, and increased prosocial behavior.

Classic experimental work by Robert Emmons and Michael McCullough found that people who regularly kept gratitude lists reported higher well-being and more positive emotions than comparison groups, and subsequent studies have extended these findings to children and adolescents.

Jeffrey Froh and colleagues, for example, have shown that structured gratitude exercises can boost adolescents’ mood and social functioning.

Schools, families, and clinicians now widely promote age-appropriate gratitude activities as part of social-emotional learning (SEL) because gratitude appears to strengthen perspective-taking, reduce entitlement, and make kindness more reinforcing.

Why Teach Gratitude to Kids and Teens?

Emotional benefits: Gratitude practices are associated with increased positive affect and reduced symptoms of depression and anxiety in both youth and adults. Teaching gratitude provides young people with a tool to shift their attention away from ruminative or negative thought patterns. Social benefits: Feeling and expressing gratitude foster better relationships with peers, teachers, and family members. Grateful kids are more likely to engage in helping behaviors and to experience reciprocal kindness. Cognitive and motivational benefits: Gratitude encourages perspective-taking and helps youth appreciate effort and interdependence, which can boost motivation and school engagement. Long-term resilience: When gratitude becomes part of a family or classroom routine, it provides a cognitive habit that helps adolescents navigate setbacks by focusing on resources and support.

How Gratitude Develops Across Ages:

Early childhood (ages 2–6): During this stage, young children start to learn social norms related to expressing gratitude and can be taught to appreciate simple, concrete things such as a snack or a hug. Their capacity for sustained reflection is limited, so the practice of gratitude exercises should be brief and concrete. Middle childhood (ages 7–11): During this stage, children develop greater perspective-taking skills and begin to understand that others have intentions and efforts behind their actions. They can handle simple reflective tasks, such as gratitude journals with prompts, and role-playing helps them practice expression. During adolescence (ages 12–18+), teens develop abstract reasoning and moral perspectives, which prepare them for deeper reflections on privilege, interdependence, and values. Peer influence is strong, so social and service-oriented gratitude activities can be especially meaningful.

Practical, Age-appropriate Strategies and Activities

For Preschoolers and Young Children

Model gratitude daily: Express your appreciation (“I’m delighted that the weather is sunny—we have the opportunity to visit the park!”) and identify your feelings (“That embrace made me feel cherished”). Use picture books and stories: Choose books that illustrate kindness and reciprocity, and then ask simple questions such as, “Who helped Lily?” and “How did that make her feel?” Gratitude routines involve a short mealtime or bedtime ritual in which each child names one thing they liked about their day, ensuring that the practice remains brief and consistent. Thank-you crafts, such as simple cards or drawings, help young children express their thanks and learn that gratitude is an actionable concept.

For Elementary-Age Children

Gratitude jar: Each family member or classroom writes one thing they are grateful for on a slip of paper and adds it to a jar. Read gratitude activities weekly to build shared memory and appreciation. Guided gratitude journals: Provide prompts such as “Who helped you today?” or “What made you smile?” Short, three-line entries are often enough. Role-play and scripts: Practice verbal expressions of appreciation and responses to someone thanking them, which helps make social exchanges more comfortable. Service with reflection: Small acts of service, such as helping a neighbor or donating toys, followed by guided reflection, help children connect their actions to feelings of gratitude.

For Tweens and Teens

Deep reflection prompts: Ask open-ended questions (e.g., “What’s a challenge you faced that taught you something important?” or “Who has helped you when you felt stuck?”) to encourage thoughtful journaling. Gratitude letters and visits: Writing a sincere letter to someone who has positively impacted your life (and, if possible, delivering it) is a powerful exercise in gaining perspective and fostering connection. Perspective-taking exercises: Encourage teens to reflect on the unseen work or sacrifices made by parents and community systems that contribute to their everyday comforts. Community service and civic engagement: Volunteering fosters both a sense of contribution and a clearer view of societal interdependence; it is beneficial to debrief afterward to highlight the lessons learned about gratitude. Mindful gratitude practices, such as short meditations that focus on supportive aspects of life, can be integrated into a teen’s existing mindfulness routine to help anchor gratitude in bodily awareness.

Integrating Gratitude into Family and School Life

Ritualize it: Consistency matters. Mealtime, bedtime, or transition rituals (e.g., before school or sports) provide natural opportunities for practicing gratitude. Integrate gratitude into SEL curricula by including modules that feature age-appropriate activities and classroom discussions. Encourage public recognition: Classrooms and families that create “gratitude boards,” where individuals can post thank-yous, help build a culture of acknowledgment. Use technology thoughtfully: Gratitude challenges conducted through group chats or apps can engage older kids; however, it is important to balance these digital prompts with offline reflection to prevent superficiality.

Dealing With Resistance and Complexity

Validate mixed emotions: For teenagers, insisting on “always being thankful” can have negative consequences. Acknowledge that anger or grief can coexist with legitimate negative feelings, and explain how gratitude fits into this context. Avoid promoting toxic positivity: Teach children that gratitude should not involve denying hardship; rather, it is a tool for recognizing small supports during difficult times. Keep gratitude activities voluntary and authentic: Pressuring kids to create rote lists without genuine feeling reduces their effectiveness. Offer options and explain the reasons behind the activities. Tailor activities to individual temperament: some children are naturally more reflective, while others require concrete, action-oriented practices. Match activities to personality.

Measuring Progress and Making It Stick

Look for behavioral signs such as increased thank-you notes, greater helpfulness, and improved conflict resolution, which serve as practical indicators. Use short check-ins: Monthly family or classroom reflections on changes can keep the practice relevant and adjustable. Reinforce with positive feedback: Recognize when children express authentic appreciation, and describe specifically what you noticed (e.g., “I loved how you wrote a note to your teacher—that shows you noticed their help”). Normalize long-term practice: Gratitude is a habit developed over time, and small, consistent rituals are more effective than occasional large interventions.

Cultural Sensitivity And Equity

Respect diverse expressions of gratitude: It varies across cultures and families, with some individuals expressing it through actions instead of verbal statements. Ask families how they prefer to express gratitude. Avoid making comparisons: Do not present gratitude as a means to downplay systemic inequalities. Each activity encourages kids to be grateful while also empowering them to notice and respond to injustice.

Growing Gratitude: Closing Thoughts

Teaching gratitude to kids and teens focuses less on creating polished expressions of thanks and more on nurturing an orientation that notices help, values interdependence, and balances realism with appreciation.

Research shows that regular, developmentally appropriate gratitude practices can strengthen mental health, boost social bonds, and foster resilience—especially when those practices are modeled and reinforced by adults.

Start small, make routines predictable and authentic, and adapt strategies to each child’s developmental stage and cultural context.

Over time, these practices help young people cultivate a stable lens of appreciation that supports emotional well-being and prosocial living throughout adolescence and into adulthood.

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