Grief Can Be Harder During Christmas – An Expert Explains Why

Grief can make you feel like you’re walking in a daze. You watch the world carry on as yours has stood still and wonder if you will ever feel anything close to ‘normal’ again.

Add to this the twinkling lights and forced fun at Christmas, you can feel completely out your depth. You’re ‘supposed’ to be feeling holiday magic but you can’t bring yourself to. It can be really isolating.

The UK’s leading Dementia charity, Alzheimer’s Society, urges: “Around one million people are living with dementia in the UK and the terminal condition is the UK’s biggest killer which means thousands of families will experience the devastation it causes.

“Many people will be facing this Christmas without their loved ones.”

We may be feeling lonely but none of us are alone in this.

How to cope at Christmas when you’re grieving 

For many of us, the solution is all-too-often just to grin and bear the pain, wait for it to pass and keep our heads down.

However, there are real steps we can take to help ourselves.

Alzheimer’s Society Senior Knowledge Officer, Angelo Makri, offers this advice to those struggling this Christmas:

Grief is often complex and difficult, and it can be hard to adjust to living without the person. This is especially true at holidays and times of celebration such as Christmas. It can help to talk through your feelings with someone you trust such as a friend or family memberBe kind to yourself, and allow yourself space and time to grieve. Try to eat and drink enough and get as much rest as you’re able to (even if you don’t always manage to sleep)It’s natural for people to feel a wide range of emotions and perhaps find it hard to connect with others who are celebrating. Take the time you need to reflect and come to terms with your grief. At the same time, try not to become isolated from those who can offer supportIt’s important to look after your spiritual and religious needs if you have them. Many people find these practices helpful and a source of comfort after a bereavement. Religious leaders may be a great source of comfort at this timeIf you’re struggling and time doesn’t seem to be helping, you may want to think about asking for professional support from a therapist or counsellor. It can be a very helpful way of processing your feelings and finding a way forward

Makri adds: “Life changes after bereavement, and holidays may never feel the same as they did. In time, you may find that the pain eases and you feel more able to cope and participate again.

“Some people find adjusting easier than others. How long it takes will vary from person to person, and there is no ‘right’ length of time.”

Help and support:

Mind, open Monday to Friday, 9am-6pm on 0300 123 3393.Samaritans offers a listening service which is open 24 hours a day, on 116 123 (UK and ROI - this number is FREE to call and will not appear on your phone bill).CALM (the Campaign Against Living Miserably) offer a helpline open 5pm-midnight, 365 days a year, on 0800 58 58 58, and a webchat service.The Mix is a free support service for people under 25. Call 0808 808 4994 or email [email protected]Rethink Mental Illness offers practical help through its advice line which can be reached on 0808 801 0525 (Monday to Friday 10am-4pm). More info can be found on rethink.org.