Bill Clinton Selflessly Volunteers To Help Short-Staffed TSA With Pat Downs

CHAPPAQUA, NY — With TSA suffering severe staffing shortages amid a halt in pay, former President Bill Clinton has volunteered to lend a hand patting down passengers. A smiling Clinton arrived early for his shift at JFK International, telling TSA agents to focus on checking bags and leaving the pat-downs to him. "It's the least I can do," said Clinton. "When I heard there were thousands of bodies that needed to be felt, I simply answered the call. Does that make me a hero? Well, step into my line here, and I'll let you be the judge." According to airport...